Numb

Today, She feels numb
Some days she finds herself struggling with herself
It seems like she has taken more steps back than forward
Her heart is sitting confused between two chapters
And her mind is stuck between thinking back and looking forward
Sometimes it really feels like there is a war within herself
Between her and herself
Her mind and her heart
Logic and emotions
At times she even struggles to understand herself
To understand what she wants and what it is that she is seeking
On such days,
I hope she reminds herself that its okay if she doesn’t have everything figured out in this moment
That the confusion and chaos is all part of the process of growing and maturing in life
It makes her only human to break over one matter and recreate herself through another
To lose herself somewhere and find herself elsewhere
I hope she remembers not to be too harsh on herself in the chaos that come with the process of becoming
The reality is, some things hurt more than expected
Some matters take longer to get over with
Some situations pull down more than envisioned
The matter she is desperately wishing to overcome is the one she is finding hardest to let go of
What is meant to hurt her the least,
The situation she was prepared for the most,
Is the one that actually hurts her the most
And she finds herself heavily unprepared to face it.
She is being hopeful and reminding herself
That this is just a phase in her life
That it will pass as it has come
That it will push her to look for the lessons in the stars
It will push her towards maturing mentally
It is the most painful phases that teach the most valuable lessons
She is hoping that her future self would be grateful for these shattered moments.
For numb days like this.